God has given me so much to talk about in my life this year. At the beginning of the year, I was balancing school, work and my business. I was having issues with the stress and negativity that surrounded me every day. I was angry, aggressive and truly unhappy. I was at the point of giving up with everything. I heard from several how they had come through trying times. I kept thinking it won't be me. I am not lucky. Luck had nothing to do with it. I was lacking faith. I prayed but for things. I did not have the faith or courage to ask for God's mercy.
However, as I reflect on this past year, I can see all the blessings I have had this year. I took a leap of faith in May and left my employer to work more in my business. My first grandchild was born at the end of July. I have worked with nine brides in their engagement, bridal, and weddings. I finished my educator certification, finished my A.A.S in management, grew my business, was hired to teach at a very prestigious school, and have maintained good health. Yes, there are still things that I want for my life, but those things or lack of do not depress me as they did years ago.
This all may sound like nothing to some. However, five years ago when I moved into my mom's home, I was facing unimaginable pain daily. I was diagnosed a year earlier with fibromyalgia. I was taking twelve to fourteen pills a day just to make it through the day. I was depressed and sinking into deeper depression. I thought about killing myself repeatedly to stop the constant pain. During one of my visits to the fibromyalgia specialist, he asked if he could pray with me and for me. I said okay. He prayed and hugged me afterward. He then said, " I want you to do something for me. I want you to quit your job, start walking even if it is just five minutes, and get massages (I had begun working for massage envy a few weeks earlier)." He said if I did those things and changed the meds I was taking he knew I would not be back. I did all of those things and more. I had already given my notice at my job and my final day was December 31, 2010. I could only walk five or six minutes without being in horrible pain. After a few months, however, I was walking three miles a day. I was getting massages once or twice a month. Three months into the plan I had stopped all medications (as directed by my doctor). I say all this to say I had not seen that doctor since that day. I do have moments when I am overdoing it and the pain returns. In these moments I pray, meditate, write, work on crochet projects, read and walk. I haven't been getting massages lately but I also hope to get back to that. I kept saying I did not have the time for all these things. Time is something you have to make for those you love and the things you want to do.
My prayers have centered not on things but on God's mercy, guidance and the blessings I expect to receive. I have a vision board online and on my wall. I am going to work on this today as I relax and enjoy this beautiful Sunday.
In these last days of 2015, I know I will have much more to talk about! I believe! I am going to receive!
These are not all of my blessings, they are just a snapshot of the past year. I have learned to expect these blessings, to share and bless others I come into contact with.
